Best for Last
by alwayskate
Summary: Castle and Beckett talk numbers and history. one shot, takes place mid season 5.


This is a one shot future fic… takes place like mid season 5, after release of Frozen Heat and a couple months at least into Castle and Beckett's relationship. Just something I wanted to read. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Beckett opens her eyes and finds she's alone in Castle's bed. With a yawn and a stretch, she sees the alarm clock on the bedside table that reads 8:34am. Wondering what could've possibly gotten Castle out of bed before her, she moves the covers off of her nearly nude body and stands, pausing when she hears two voices. One she recognizes as Castle's and the other a woman's but not familiar.

Quietly, Beckett creeps to the bedroom door that opens into Castle's office and then it becomes easy to identify the mysterious woman as Paula, Castle's book agent.

"Rick they want to contract you for two books, why would you want to up it to three? If we do two now and then renegotiate again we can get more money out of the deal…"

Paula's voice trails off, and Beckett is as curious about Castle's response as Paula is.

"Paula I don't want to be worried about finding an ending for Nikki Heat in two novels. What if something happens or changes? I have in mind a three-book arc and I really want to do this my way. Can't we get a contract with a bonus or something for each new book?"

"Wow Rick. Seriously. A night with you in Ibiza and I got one lousy chapter in Storm Fall and this woman has been sleeping with you for a couple months and you have a three-book arc in mind? What's her trick?"

Beckett's eyes widen. Castle has slept with his agent. Wow. Is there any woman in his life that he hasn't slept with aside from the ones he's related to?

"Paula I don't want to hear stuff like that coming from you. Can we do this book deal the way I want or have you come to wake me up this early for no reason?"

Beckett feels warmth spread through her at Castle's defense of her, but she still can't help but count in her head all the women she knows Castle has slept with. Deciding she's heard enough, she sneaks back to bed, slides under the covers and goes over the past few years of Castle's sex life in her head.

That first year together he said he'd slept with his interior decorator. And that he picked up women at the museum and at the empire state building. Gina, his publisher, and Paula, his agent, both of whom are still in his life. Sophia, Ellie Monroe, Meredith, Kyra… is there any woman he's ever met more than once who he hasn't slept with? Maybe numbers is a conversation they need to have.

She admits her curiosity about Castle's past has only increased since they've been together. And after reading Nikki's response to Rook's enquiry about her number in Frozen Heat, Beckett knew it would be only a matter of time before the topic came up again between her and Castle. She knows that if she asks him for his number and details that he's going to want her history too, but isn't that a part of all serious relationships? Don't you always at some point discuss past loves and mistakes? And, as Castle wrote in his novel, it's usually a long and uncomfortable conversation. But maybe it is necessary.

While lost in her thoughts, Beckett misses Castle reentering his bedroom and nearly jumps when she feels him climb back into bed. She's quiet for a second, debating how to ask him about what she just overheard.

Castle's silent next to her, perhaps noticing that she's caught up in thought, but when she turns to face him he's resting on his elbow observing her with a small smile on his face.

"Sorry," his hand brushes stray hair off her face, "I didn't mean for you to wake up alone. Paula showed up to talk about a new contract for the Nikki Heat books."

Smiling softly, Beckett responds, "Yeah I overheard through the door."

They're both quiet for a second, and Beckett can't help but continue, "I didn't really mean to hear this, but you've slept with Paula?"

Castle's smile falters, he clearly wasn't expecting that question, and instead of verbalizing his response he merely nods confirmation. Beckett exhales softly.

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way Castle, but I can't stop thinking it," she squeezes his hand and meets his eyes, "Has there been any woman in your life that you've only been friends with? I feel like you've slept with all the women you've worked with or known. All the ones I've met anyway, Gina, Paula, your interior decorator, Kyra, Sophia," she cringes, "and now me… am I really different or is this…" she trails off, her own question surprising her. She didn't realize until she's said it that there is insecurity there; that maybe Castle's attraction to her is inevitable for him when he works closely with a woman.

Castle's eyes close briefly, and she's thankful that when he opens them she sees no anger in them, though there may be a trace of hurt. "Beckett of course you're different. If you really want to talk about all the mistakes I've made and women I've been with, I'll tell you anything you want to know. But first you need to realize that I've never, ever, fallen in love with my best friend. I've never loved or respected a woman the way I do you, and you are so different from the rest, there aren't enough words to explain why, I just need you to trust me."

She nods, a smile breaking through, "I'm sorry. I didn't even realize how much these things worry me until I heard Paula. I've told you before Castle, I'm a one and done kind of girl. I'm only getting married once and that's it. And the way that I love you, well; I can't imagine anyone else being that one. But you've been married twice, so I guess I'm just worried that these feelings are nothing new to you."

He smiles briefly at being called her one, but it quickly turns to a grimace as she finishes her thought.

"Kate my marriages were mistakes. Alexis was a surprise, and I knew even when I married Meredith that it wasn't a love that would last forever. I was trying to do the right thing. Before you, the only time I would say I was truly in love was with Kyra, but that was a young love and I wasn't mature enough or ready for it. Gina was one of those situations where we worked together and got along. She's intelligent and I really thought I could love her but it never worked because she was never going to be the woman I wanted her to be and I wasn't the man she needed or wanted. We got married for the wrong reasons."

Castle moves onto his back to stare at the ceiling, and Kate moves into him, resting her head on his chest. "You realize that if I tell you my number I'm going to want the details on yours right?"

She smiles into his bare chest and presses a soft kiss there, "I've already accepted that Castle. And I'll tell you anything you want to know."

Castle's hand moves up and down her back with a soft touch while he continues, "26," Castle pauses, and Beckett looks to meet his eyes, urging him to continue. She hopes her eyes didn't betray her emotions; she wants more of the story before she arrives at a conclusion. "There were 3 girls in my senior year of high school, 7 in college, before I met Kyra, who was the 8th. Right after Kyra and I broke up there were 3 women, the third was Meredith. After she left there were a few women, including Sophia, which again I will tell you was nothing like you and me. Her and I were never friends; I was messed up after Meredith cheated on me. It's not a time of my life I'm overly proud of."

"And the girls who's names you're not mentioning? You don't remember them or they were one nighters?"

"Most of them were one night things or really brief flings, except for one girl in college named Allison who was one night but if I'd been able to find her the next day I might not have ever met Kyra. I was pretty taken with her. But I won't deny that I've had my fair share of one night stands. Writing a best seller in college and being famous after Meredith left… well yeah. I think you've read the file on the police horse."

She grins at that, nodding along while she waits for him to continue.

"After Sophia but before Gina there was a one night stand. Then Gina and I got together," Castle paused and she could almost feel him counting in his head, "After Gina and I divorced there were a few months of playboy behaviour. That's when the thing with Paula happened. I was on a European book tour and got really drunk. I was lonely, and she was there. It happened. We were only ever friends and neither of us wanted anything more than that. There were a few others then too which brought my number from 19 to 25, if you include Ellie Monroe, who I admit was one of my more shallow choices. Then I was back with Gina, and since she and I broke up the second time it's only been you."

"And Gina is on your roster so she doesn't count the second time," Beckett points out with a small smile.

Castle quirks his eyebrow, "Roster?"

Beckett smiles and rolls her eyes, "You've never heard the of the roster rule?" Castle shakes his head so Beckett continues; "It means that once you've slept with someone once it doesn't matter how many times you do it. You can play your roster as much as you want."

Castle laughs at that, "Okay, then yes, with Gina I was playing my roster. But since we've worked together that's it. I really wanted you, and after that final break up with Gina, I finally got to kiss you. Undercover or not, I knew I was ruined for any other woman. So you, Detective Beckett, are number 26. And most importantly, you are going to be the only woman I'm ever going to sleep with again."

Beckett smiles at that and moves to hover over him, giving him a gentle kiss, "So you never slept with Jacinda?"

"Who's Jacinda?" Castle replies sardonically. Beckett can tell he's poking fun at her jealousy so she pinches his nipple softly. He squirms a bit and responds, "No. I never slept with her. I honestly didn't see that much of her, I was just trying to hurt you by flashing her around the precinct. I didn't realize that at the time but my mother kindly pointed it out to me afterwards."

Beckett nods, "I'm glad. I know I don't have a right to hold that against you, but I think I would've had a hard time knowing that my lie drove you into another woman's bed."

Castle kisses her gently, "I was trying to pretend you didn't exist Kate, but every time I closed my eyes all I could think about was you. I'm not the man I was when we first met, and meaningless sex just wasn't going to do it for me, then or now."

Kate smiles, nods, and rests her head back down on his chest. "So 26…" she trails off as Castle's hand resumes it's journey up and down her back. "I can't decide if I'm surprised that it's so low or disappointed that it's so high. If that makes any sense."

Castle laughs, squeezes her into his body a little bit harder, "I think I know what you mean. Okay. I've told you mine. I want the details on yours."

Beckett is surprised to feel herself blush, so she buries her face in Castle's chest to hide it. She can hear Castle's delighted laugh in response.

"Wow. Now would be a really good time for my pager to go off," Beckett smiles into his chest as she says it, while Castle chuckles at her shyness. She figures the easiest way to do it is to just rip off the bandaid. "Sixteen."

She braces herself for Castle's response, and when he says nothing she looks up to see his face. He looks deep in thought so she has to ask, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm trying to think of the ones I can guess," Castle grins, "Can I have a go at it?"

Rolling her eyes, but folds her hands on his chest to rest her chin upon while she looks at his face, she nods, "Go for it Castle."

"Grunge rocker guy, med student guy, royalty guy," Castle says grinning, with a confidence he shouldn't have, which tells her she's wearing her shock on her face.

"How do you even know about those guys?"

"When we had that case with Madison I asked what your type was when we were at dinner together. She said you didn't really have one and that you dated those three guys," he looks so smug she can't help but correct him.

"Grunge rocker guy is right, and so is med student guy, but I never slept with the royalty guy. Any other guesses?"

"Hmm… okay. Well there are the obvious ones, Josh, Demming, Sorenson… and Royce?" Beckett isn't surprised by the inclusion of Demming and Royce, and takes great pleasure in correcting him.

"I never slept with Demming. And I did love Royce, but he never gave into me. I think he could tell it wasn't a healthy love and didn't want to take advantage of me. For all of his faults he was a good man," Beckett feels a cold chill run through her, reminding her of her loss, but it seems like Castle is distracted.

"You never slept with Demming? Why not? Weren't you guys together for a few months?"

"No we broke up the day you left for the Hamptons. He wasn't what I wanted and he deserved better than me stringing him along." Castle's eyes shine with curiosity, so she continues, "but that's a story for another time. Any other guesses?"

Castle looks a bit distraught that he could only successfully guess four of the sixteen men she's slept with and that idea makes her strangely happy; she's still a mystery to him. When he shakes his head, she tells him.

"In high school there was grunge rocker guy, Matty, and a guy in Kiev, Anton, who I traveled with for a couple months. In senior year of high school I dated a guy named Chris, who was a med student, but we broke up when I left for Stanford. Out at Stanford I had a couple of sleazy college one-night stands. Neither of which was memorable."

She pauses for a second when she thinks about her behaviour immediately following her mother's death. "After my mom died I transferred to NYU and had a bit of a slutty period. That year there was two brief relationships that weren't really all that great and four one night stands before I stopped with the partying because I was trying to get my dad sober."

She looks down at his chest for a second until she feels Castle's hand under her chin asking her to meet his eyes, "Beckett a lot people make those kinds of decisions after bad things happen. People grieve in different ways, and if crappy drunk sex helped for even a moment then it makes sense to me."

Kate nods, "It's weird, because at the time I was so lost I didn't really realize what I was doing, but now when I look back it makes me sad to think that I needed to be slutty in order to feel."

Castle says nothing, but she feels his arms squeeze her tighter. She smiles briefly at him, "Okay so that's eleven. Then there was a guy who I dated for a while after I got out of the academy, and another guy in my early years on the force. Both were brief relationships that weren't really anything special. I liked them, but it just wasn't what I wanted."

"Then there was Will. I thought he was the real thing. He knew all about my mom, and it felt very serious to me at the time, but I guess he didn't feel the same way since he chose the job," she smiles softly when she says it, shaking her head.

"He's a fool, but I am very glad he is," Castle smiles and she kisses him.

"Looking back now I think the reason I thought it was more serious than it really was is because he was a cop, like me, so he understood my job and it was easier to talk to him about my mom like she was a case, not my parent. At the time I think I needed that. It was right around when my dad was getting sober and staying that way, and I needed someone to talk to."

Castle nods, and then she quickly says, "and of course you know about Josh, and then you."

"Am I allowed to ask questions now?" Castle's face is hard to read, so she nods for him to continue. "When did you and Josh start dating, and when did you break up?"

"I broke up with him 2 weeks after my shooting when I was still in the hospital. I honestly just didn't have the energy before that. And we started dating when you came back from the Hamptons after that summer and you were still with Gina. I'd met him a few weeks before that but I wasn't really into dating him until I realized that you were still with Gina. It made it easier somehow to have him when we started working together again, like a safe zone or something."

Castle nods, "I think we should talk about that summer, at some point. But not right now."

"Agreed. Let's table that conversation for a while. So. Now you know my number, and you know that we've both had our fair share of slutty experiences. Any other questions?"

"Who's the best you've ever had?" Castle's eyes have a cocky gleam to them, and she knows exactly what he wants her to say.

She smiles softly, "It's really sad but I can't remember his name, it was this one-night-" before she can finish her joke Castle has her pinned to the bed underneath him. Laughing, she rolls her eyes at his frustrated expression. "Richard Castle you are the best I've ever had, and you are the only man I want."

He grins at that, "You're the best I've ever had too Beckett."

She smiles and can't help but blush a little at his words, "Well that will help me deal next time I'm standing in a room with your publisher and agent."

Castle presses a hard kiss to her lips, then pulls back and murmurs against them, "Kate Beckett since I met you I have not fantasized about or wanted anyone else more. And since we've been together it's just gotten more intense."

Beckett raises herself up to aggressively press her lips against his, and feels him smile into her kiss.

"I love you Castle," she says softly when she pulls back. Castle's eyes light up, and instead of responding with words he kisses her softly, and she feels like it's their first kiss all over again.


End file.
